Well it was a calm humid and hot Sydney morning...well it was.
It all started with my eleven year old daughter asking for money(again) for SIMS( a pc game). Who, on hearing my answer, decided she needed a paper round. This is how we got to her fetching the post.
Well, said post, which was made up of a newspaper and some advertizing pamphlets, sat on our lounge coffee table for about half an before my wife started reading through it all after morning coffee.
Now at this point it should be noted my wife is sitting about 3 meters from me.
I'm in shorts and quite sleepy....
NEXT thing, theres a loud, petrified, wailing banshee shriek! Now, my mind works pretty fast and on a subconscious level is processing about 4 things at the same time. Something heavy has hit my chest, my wife is moon stepping/bounding in the opposite direction(still screaming) out the lounge, the suspicion that something evil has hit my chest, sudden anger at my wife(who is defining "every woman for herself") and the fact that I need to take evasive action of some sort.
At this point my manly defensive reactions kick in (which consists of my doing a sort of epileptic fit and accomplishing zero gravitational floatation abilities and a monkey dance(my wifes description)). At some point I look down to register whats going one, and this is the thing, I cant quite remember as its all a haze, but its a frikking huge giant hairy spider! Which has just gone from somewhere about my chest region to the floor between my legs and is on the move!
The spider is about 8 centimetres across and seems about a meter wide. So I take off after my wife(with whom I am still pretty angry).
Well my little eleven year old girl has a fit, after seeing this and finding she has carried it in the house. Basically my wife found the spider by leafing through an advertising pamphlet(which makes me pretty happy for some reason). Perhaps she will never read adverts again?
Safe to say, the house is now in deathcon 4 mode, screen doors shut, everything sprayed and every item inspected suspiciously before handled.
See picture of monster below. (I had quite a few but they were all blurry as I was quivering)